Plus 8-year-olds still want to bedshare, cosleeping away from home, and the happiest kids on the planet ๐ชด
THIS WAS THE LAST week of school for my boys, and there were lots of events, ceremonies, and parties for the families.
By this point, I know this group of parents pretty well. I'm comfortable being me. And talking about my work.
Out of all the conversations I had this week, when the topic of sleep came up, every parent said the same thing.
Their child still comes into their bed during the night.
You guys. These are parents of 6, 7, and 8 year olds!
Yes. Even 8 year old kids come to their parent's bed in the night if they wake up with a nightmare, feel sick, or need to use the bathroom. Some parents will walk them back to their bed, others give them a hug and kiss and encourage them to go back to their room on their own.
Others, like myself, throw the blanket open and say, "Get in."
Not every parent I spoke with responded the same way to the night wakes. But they all acknowledged they were still happening, even at this age.
I hope this encourages you if you've heard bogus advice that your infant or toddler "should" be sleeping through the night. In reality, that won't happen for many more years.
And here's to more parents being honest with each other about what nights really look like. About how much our children need us during the night. The more we share these things, the less stigma there will be about keeping our children close at night.
๐ฌ THE COMMENT SECTION
Every family needs a wedge pillow
One of the tools that I urge all my pregnant friends to buy is a wedge pillow. Not just for chest sleeping, but later on when your baby or toddler is congested and needs to sleep propped up. (That will happen a lot, especially when they start daycare or school.)
A mom named Lindsey emailed a few days ago to ask for my wedge pillow recommendations, and I thought I'd share with the whole group.
If you're not sure how long you'll be chest sleeping, or if you'll find it safe or comfortable, or if you're just not ready to make a real investment, start on Amazon. You'll find lots of options around $50.
โHere are some popular wedge pillows here in the US, including a couple that I've used myself. (Here are some in Canada, UK, and Australia.)
โ ๏ธ Keep in mind, though, that you get what you pay for. These may only last for a year before the cover beings to tear or the foam no longer bounces back into position.
If you'd rather make a long-term investment for this baby and the next, buy a high-quality version like this 10" model that we use.
We've used this one for more than three years -- even though we're no longer chest sleeping, we use it when the boys are sick. It's still holding its original shape, and the cover hasn't torn. (More photos here.)
One thing that's added to its longevity is its custom, wedge-shaped pillow case or waterproof cover! The Amazon pillows don't offer that.
To us, this is worth the higher up-front cost compared to the cheap ones we started with from Amazon.
๐ WHAT'S GOOD
Community win of the week
A mom named Camille flew her seven month old baby across the country last week. She got my Travel guide beforehand and used it to mitigate hazards when she checked into her hotel room.
She noticed the hotel bed was really plush. They usually are soft, but when she pulled back the fitted sheet, she saw a 4-inch, built-in topper on it. This one was extra, extra soft. ๐ฑ
So Camille put her baby in her sling and went down to the check-in counter. She told them about the situation and was able to get herself a different room. Apparently they had a few rooms with an older-but-firmer mattress model.
She told me she was surprised at how accommodating they were, and they even followed her back upstairs and helped her move all her baby gear and luggage into the new room.
She was actually able to sleep that night, and for the whole two-week stay in New York. ๐
Thanks for sharing this story with us, Camille! You did good.
I know so many of us will be traveling this summer, and it's not always possible to create a safe bedsharing setup away from home. So I'm making my Travel Guide only $27 right now so that every parent here can afford it!
Use it to prep before your trip and mitigate the risks as soon as you walk into the door, as Camille did.
๐ค FRESH DATA
What are Dutch families getting right?
...And what can we learn from them?
According to UNICEF's latest child wellbeing index, Dutch children are the happiest kids in the developed world. There are lots of reasons why, but I'm convinced it's because they all begin their lives sleeping beside their parents.