Who gets to make the rules?


Morning, sleepy head. This is Cosleepy Dispatch #006, your field notes for the week of June 22, 2026.

What I've gathered for you:

  • ๐Ÿ’ฌ An honest look at how the bedsharing "rules" come together.
  • ๐Ÿฟ The new show I'm loving for contact naps. (It has eight, 50-minute episodes -- start today and you'll be covered for the next week!)
  • ๐Ÿงฐ A bunch of helpful tools to make your nights in the family bed easier and more enjoyable.
  • ๐Ÿ‘€ An unfiltered look at another mom's life -- her family bedroom decor, un-skippable skincare routine, and how she and her partner stay on the same page.

Monday mornings can be hard. I hope this dispatch makes you smile and feel less alone. Grab a warm drink, if you haven't already, and start scrolling!


๐Ÿ’ฌ COSLEEPY Q&A

Who gets to make the rules?

Last week, I suggested waiting to put your child directly on a wedge pillow until at least 24 months.

A cosleepy mom named Abby replied and asked for a resource on when you can begin doing certain things again -- like using your duvet, pillows, not worrying about packing the gaps, and so on.

My upcoming book will provide "goal posts" for each of these milestones -- most are at the 24-month mark. Why?

Here's what I told Abby:

There isn't one research-backed resource I could send you. We have very little scientific research on bedsharing (and even then, it's only about cuddle curling -- we have none on chest sleeping).

This is because funding these studies is very difficult. And also because we cannot conduct research that could risk a baby's life (such as testing when a pillow may cause suffocation or a when gap may lead to entrapment).

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For my own recommendations, at least: I base them on my conversations with researchers like Dr. Helen Ball and Dr. James McKenna, guidelines from organizations like UNICEF and the Lullaby Trust, and what I found in bedsharing fatality reports when writing my book. I saw that, sadly, some children close to age two did suffocate when their parents didn't follow safety
guidelines -- so that's why I chose 24 months as the goal post.

You guys, I want you to know that with me, you'll always get a conservative, extra-safe recommendation. I wouldn't be able to call myself the Cosleeping Safety Captain if I were lax, iffy, or apathetic about this stuff.

"Meh" is just not something the Cosleeping Safety Captain says. ๐Ÿ˜‰

That said, I want to remind you that it's always ultimately up to you to look at recommendations from me, UNICEF, Dr. Helen Ball, whoever -- and to make the best decision for your family.


๐Ÿฟ NAP-TRAPPED

A sweet show for contact naps

I'm enjoying the adaptation of one of my favorite books, Every Summer After by Carley Fortune. I read it a few years ago, and while the tropes opened up old wounds for me (coming of age and friends-to-lovers), it is really well-written... and I've since come around. I have the sequels in pretty paperbacks, too.

If you have Amazon Prime, give it a shot during your next contact nap. It's called "Every Year After." Great soundtrack, pretty scenery, pretty actors, nothing too heavy for this season of life.


๐Ÿงฐ COSLEEPY TOOLBOX

Cosleeping doesn't have to suck

If you are miserable due to a specific aspect of bedsharing, this is a good week to buy a tool to help. (This is one of Amazon's biggest sales of the year.)

Have you scrolled through all of my tool lists?

I've collected...

  • Cribs that you can DIY into sidecar cribs
  • Floor beds with rails
  • Warm (but safe) pajamas
  • Pillows for comfy cuddle curling (and others for chest sleeping, too!)
  • Travel cribs for nap time or your next trip
  • Pink nightlights and blackout shades
  • Children's books that feature cosleeping
  • Waterproof mattress protectors
  • And soo much more!

Tap this button to see all of my lists in one place.

If you live near Canada, UK/Europe, or Australia, I've made smaller lists for you that focus on pain-relief.

Happy problem-solving!


๐Ÿ‘€ IN CASE YOU MISSED IT

Hannah Clark cosleeps, too

HANNAH CLARK (mid-30s) lives in a mountainside cabin in Hobart, Tasmania. She's planning a wedding, running a business, and chasing around a two- and five-year-old on any given day. She cosleeps, too.

FAMILY BEDROOM โ€” The kids are now in their own beds (at least for the start of the night) which means we've been able to take down the sidecar cot, chuck some prints up on the walls and feel like we've got an adult room again! Desenio and The Poster Club have a great range of prints for adults and kids.

Iโ€™m a minimalist at heart when it comes to kidsโ€™ things. I don't generally buy much sleep โ€œstuffโ€ because I know how easy it is for us to manage without it! Simple and basic for us has always felt good.

FAVE PART OF THE DAY โ€” I love when I'm heading up to bed with one of the kids, and I get to snuggle in next to them and hear about their day and feel their safe little warm body next to mine. I'm never going to be ready to give that up.

COMMUNITY โ€” We have two local country markets that are within 20 minutes of us, and both are great to take the kids to for a hot chocolate and a pastry. The one closest to us is also the home of the local fire station and Machinery Club, so there are firetrucks and old restored farm equipment for the kids to climb all over!

I'm really lucky in that my friendship circle, those with kids mostly all cosleep or really don't care if you cosleep or not. Everything is really open and honest which I feel really grateful for, considering this is not many others' reality.

We get lunch together when we can. Lunches are king with kids. That and early dinners, a slow-cooked lamb, and everyone camping over!


That's it for this week

Keep your head up! I'm rooting for you. And sending a big hug from northern California x

Cosleepy, LLCโ€‹
Sacramento, California 95811, United States
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TIFFANY BELANGER

Welcome to the worldโ€™s first and only newsletter *hopelessly devoted* to parents who cosleep. Start your Mondays with 40,000 parents around the world who wake up with a baby in their bed, too. ๐Ÿ“ฎ

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